My Mind

My mind wanders into the abyss of timelessness while my body carry on with its android-like behavior. I "convince" myself that people around me does not notice this, that they think nothing is wrong, like a child hiding behind his bedroom door convinced that his mother (who is playing hide and seek with him) has no idea he is there. But this too is not true...

I check the time and realize that I'm alone in the office, everyone else has left: "Where has the day gone?", "What did I miss?"

Now its off to try and pass some more time until my mind numbs enough to trick my body into going to sleep. This these last few weeks seems to be like the change from night to day; you know its going to happen almost like clockwork whether you want it to or not. With this too I'm convincing myself that it's so bad, when I actually does seem to have quite a few differentiating factors involved.

Actually when looking at the bigger picture all is not THAT bad. This seems like a cliche but its not. The question remains: "Will my mind be on my side tonight or against me?"

Why is it that we spend so much time convincing ourselves that everything is so bad? Why don't we spend that time and effort convincing ourselves that all is well or that there is hope? I mean really, we do seem to be very good at convincing!